breaking free from patterns that keep you stuck.
There is a time in everyone’s life when they reach a point of doubt and dwindled inspiration that spills into the daily fabric of life. Many tend to describe their confusing cycles in emotional terms and often remain stuck based on their perceptions of emotional labels. Change is a choice, yet many find themselves struggling when trying to move forward and remain imprisoned in a system that is self-created through internalized labels and dialogue. Breaking free is not easy, yet it is doable. And completely possible.
The key to change is not just about the desire to change, but becoming aware of the resources and potentials that are available and within reach. Individuals often get stuck in the “how to do” stage and never go forward in their great plan of remodeling their lives. Part of the reason folks get stuck in the stages of desire has to do with the constant belief that nothing good ever happens to them, so why bother. Old beliefs and patterns impede individuals from getting past the desire to change stages.
Changing your life is a unique process and can be modified and altered at any point. Many envision change as a rigid and harsh process that is not flexible. The truth is that once you have decided to change, you can make the process as easy or as complicated as you desire. To make change possible, it helps to make it an enjoyable process, with some passion. Feeling passionate about your process will help you remain committed and devoted to the arduous road to altering your life. It does not have to be a path of pointless and bland decisions. However, if you lack the passion, it does not mean that you are stuck forever, it simply means you need to find something that keeps you consistent and committed to achieve the goal of change. Of course, if you are the average person, you might need to trick yourself into making changes. Some of the keys might be in the following:
- Good old pro’s and con list of reasons to change
- List your current skills, resources or assets related to the area you wish to improve
- List what you need to obtain to begin – this can be skills needed, resources, etc
- Keep it simple by focusing on only a few areas at a time
- What needs to happen first
- Seek resources to enable your process (sources of support, e., support groups)
- Get professional help to assist
- Make a game plan that includes things to do and timeframe
- Set realistic goals with realistic timeframes for achieving (avoid losing 100lbs in 3months, )
- Include patients, compassion, and commitment to be part of the plan
- Use positive reinforcers when possible, e., pictures, affirmations, incentives, etc
Changing old habits or patterns does not have to be torture. Be patient and forgiving when results when results seem slow. Recognize that being critical can lower motivation and trigger a need to quit. Remember self-criticism is part of the old tapes that keep you stuck. There is a saying, you can look at the past for lessons, but don’t get stuck.
The difference in counseling vs coaching
Individuals seeking help for sorting out an emotional crisis or struggling to cope with life issues can benefit from seeking the help of a counselor. Individuals seeking guidance in tapping into dormant talents or break self-defending behavior patterns pursue coaching guidance. The counselor will dive into the emotional history of an individual, with the intentions of tracing old patterns and freeing their clients from them. A coach will not focus on the emotional baggage or history, but rather on the assets and skills available within a client to achieve their goals.
Individuals find themselves going to a counselor whenever they are overwhelmed and stuck in emotional cycles. The therapist is effective in helping difference develop some understanding about their emotional status. However, there are times when understanding the core reasons behind emotional states is not enough for healing and making changes.
Therefore, a coach is handy, and a good partner for developing specific goals and game plans to get unstuck and move forward. Granted the emotional factor is not part of the coaching session, but often individuals feel better when they are accomplishing some changes and achieving goals. In general, coaching is a partnership between the coach and the individual, where both parties are involved in creating a new life reality for the client.
There are various types of coaches that focus on specific areas and provide individuals with methods for improvement. Though both counselors and coaches help individuals. A coach will provide with the “how to tools” that will allow a person to achieve their goals.